Whoa

I'm sad, but I'm not this sad, so I guess I should count myself lucky. I guess if I start having sex with teenage boys, then I'll know I'm in trouble.

Dave Brubeck is the best

How cool is he, really? Love him to death. And not just Take Five, either. His stuff is really fun.

I am making Queen B's sloppy joes, and they smell FABULOUS. They're so very delicious.

I am definitely not over the boyfriend. Shite. And not only is he clueless, but he's totally fine. What the smurf?

I need more adoration and everyday beautiful things. God is going to have to bring me adoring fans. In the mean time, I think I should spend more time at Eastern Market. Huzzah!

ps - I heart Jack M.

God Bless Mary

Mary the bartender, my new best friend.

Sidebar: I haven't felt like drinking lately. Figured I was just getting older, lost the taste for it. Apparently not.

Saw Wedding Crashers last night. Excellent flick. But the lovey dovey stuff made me sad. And the me who no longer cried about the ex suddenly started crying about the ex again.

Lesson 1: I'm not totally healed. It's not easy to get over this. My feelings were strong and true. This actually makes me happy.

Lesson 2: If you go up to the woman bartender with tears in your eyes and say, "I'd like a strong rum and coke, please," you will be drunk after just one. Mary is the bomb, and I had a semi-decent night. I also had a freakin' cheap tab (in Georgetown!) so Mary got a 150% tip. Love her.

Good news: I don't wake up wishing it weren't true anymore.

My (ex)boyfriend's back

Yeah, he's back early from his trip. Haven't "seen" him, but saw him out the window. I am strong, not going over, not thinking too hard about it. I'm listening to 100% funk and getting ready to go out with my friends.

Seeya!

~Sexy Beast

Summer movies

I gotta say, I'm impressed with the Summer line-up for movies this year. Haven't been in a while, but I am pleased.

Movies I've seen:
Batman Begins (loved it)
Star Wars Episode III (loved it)
Sidways (ok, maybe this was Spring, but I liked it)
I also saw the old Bad News Bears for the first time, too. I thought it would be a kid's movie! Not so much.

Movies I want to see:
Wedding Crashers (this weekend)
War of the Worlds (might suck)
Fantastic Four (might also suck)
Hotel Rwanda
Miller's Crossing (not so new)
Hero
The Dukes of Hazzard (might suck)
Sky High (Kurt Russell and that kid from Will & Grace, not out yet)
Rent (not out yet, but the original broadway cast! Yay!)
Producers (also not out yet)
Sunset Boulevard (the new one, to star Ewan McGregor and Glenn Close)

Movies I'm scared to see:
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - this looks totally creepy!
Aliens - I only saw the first, but peer pressure may get the best of me
Stepford Wives - it's got Glenn, Bette, Matthew, and Nicole. How can I not want to see it?

I'd join netflix, but my freakin dvd player isn't working. The madness!

Breaking up is hard to do

We broke up on Thursday, still saw each other on Friday and Saturday, but platonically. That was SO hard. Now he's gone for a week, thank God. Things are getting a little bit easier, but they're still not easy. Of course I've been thinking about this a lot, and I realized something. I'd been telling myself that I'm sad to miss the intimacy and disappointed that it didn't work out. Those things are true, but I think what it comes down to is that I'm sad because nobody likes the feeling that they're unwanted. He didn't want me. Bottom line. That's what hurts the most. And it hurts a lot.

I still wake up wishing it weren't true.

Well, it's done

It's done. We've broken up. I am sad. However, he was lovely about it. He let me talk, he answered my questions, he was patient, and he was kind. That made it . . . good. It was a good break-up. And I miss him already, but it'll be ok.

Riss just sent this to me. It, too, is lovely.

I'm lonely, but my friends and family are great. Mom sent me flowers today. Dad wants to be mean to him when they meet. Yeah, he still wants to meet my family. That's so nice. And it makes me feel good. Isn't this funny? I feel so sad, and yet I feel so good about why I feel sad. Hm. It's a shame it didn't work out because that would have been WONderful. But it is what it is. And it was nice there for a while.

Remember when . . .

Remember when I said this week was gonna suck? I think it was yesterday or the day before. Regardless, I may as well be a freaking prophet, because my boyfriend and I are breaking up today. Yep, apparently it's a day-long process because we started this morning and we're finishing at dinner. Doesn't that sound just so formal? I'm pretty damn upset over it, which (as you can imagine) is doing wonders for my make-up. Perfect for the workplace. Luckily my coworkers are lovely and supportive, so it's not monumentally embarassing.

I know I've seen this coming, and I know it's for the best, but it REEEEALLY sucks. It's nobody's fault and I can't turn my sorrow into anger because he's fantastic - didn't do anything wrong. I always say I'm going to stay friends with the exes. I hope I can this time. I really do.

Penis envy, here I come

Usually when I hear the term "penis envy," I scoff. Who would want one of those hanging around? Getting you in trouble, embarrassing start-ups, embarrassing lack of start-ups, having to compare size to others, easy target for painful contact - one kick to the groin and your down. I don't want to deal with all of that!

However, when I get to the little blue pills and I'm crying for no reason and doubled over with cramps, I think to myself, "A penis? Why not. Sign me up!"

This week is gonna suck.