Let My Love Open the Door

I have that ehexcellent song in my head right now due to an eheheeexcellent movie I saw last night: Dan in Real Life. I am purposely not linking to any sites about it. If you haven't seen it, don't read about it. Just watch. I find that I enjoy movies MUCH more if I don't know much about the plot direction ahead of time.

I will say that the movie's music surprised me in a lovely way, and I strongly related to multiple characters and the wonderful humanity in the situations and their actions/reactions.

I will share the song with you, though.

Avoiding Church

On the phone with my mother, after approximately 80 minutes of trying to help her download itunes. (First she had to download Windows XP Service Pack 2, which requires Internet Explorer 5, but you can only download 7, but that download requires that you already have SP2.... the horror.)

Mom: Well, now I'm set up to receive an automatic windows update at 3am. Do you think if we try again tomorrow, it could work after the automatic update?
Me: (trying to stay optimistic) Sure, let's try that.
Mom: Ok. Well, I'll be at church tomorrow night, so maybe I'll try in the morning.
Me: Church on a Thursday? (big mistake here, duchess)
Mom: Well it's Holy Thursday, honey.
Me: Oh.
Mom: Easter is this Sunday.
Me: Right. Yes. I-
Mom: You really should make your plans to at LEAST attend church on Easter.
pause
Me: Good, so let's plan on re-trying the itunes installation tomorrow, then. You can call me at work or on my cell if you have any questions. Hopefully it'll work this time! If not, maybe we'll call Geno or something. By the way, your birthday is coming up pretty quickly. Any specific requests?
Mom: (totally seeing through my aversion, but knowing that a confrontation here will bring about an unpleasant disagreement and possibly tears) Well I do need some new clothes.....

fat rolls & good jokes

They're out of control. Pretty soon my belly will reach out further than my chest when I sit down. I'm going to be with Annika tonight - personal trainer. Hopefully we can sweat some of it out!

New jokes!

Knock knock ... (who's there)
Minnesota ... (Minnesota who?)
Minnesota bad mood & I dunno what to do about it.

Why do scientists disconnect their doorbells?
So they can win the no-bell prize!

What's the different between Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Jane Fonda?
Jane actually went to Vietnam. Hah!

And an old fave.....
A: Look! A bunch of cows!
B: Herd.
A: Heard of what?
B: Herd of cows.
A: Of course I've heard of cows!
B: No no no.... a cow herd.
A: I don't care. I don't have anything to hide.

It's days like today

... that make me want to drink at work. But I don't! And the funny thing is, it's not work that's making me feel this way. It's non-work business and drama. As one may expect, I stressed myself all weekend over the friend dramz mentioned in a previous post. A weekend spent with my family for my sister's 18th birthday. Overall, the weekend was good, and I got to thinking about getting my master's, which feels like a strong next step in life.

Anyway, after saying some of the mean things I wanted to say to my friend (but never would) out loud to make myself feel better (which worked), there were two points that ultimately eased my worried noggin. And so I remind myself of these two points regularly.

1. What will I think of this in 50 years? Will I care? Be proud/ashamed of my actions? Will it matter?

2. I should not feel regret about my actions as long as I act with grace and kindness. Grace. Kindness. Fini.

It is 5pm, and I have yet to draft an agenda for tonight's board meeting. Ack! Back to work.

Pissy

I'm trying to stay positive. A friend of mine really pissed me off last night. I disappointed her, she pointed it out, I apologized several times (although it was seriously not a big deal), and she remained quiet. We talked after that, but I felt awkward. There are things that I let slide for this person all the time, and she didn't accept my apology. We're very different. When she has a negative opinion about something or someone, she feels the need to make it known. Adamantly, and in my opinion, in a hostile fashion. I, on the other hand, prefer to focus on the positive and try not to vocalize the negative unless it seems necessary to move forward, or I simply need to vent. I'm not very confrontational, and I'm sure that's part of it.

So here's what happens. When she bothers me, I try to focus on other things and let it go. There are more important things to think about, and what's done is done. Why create more drama? Move on, remember lessons learned for next time, and keep in mind the positive elements. She's a kind friend, good listener, smart, dependable, etc.

But when I bother her, she feels that it's necessary to address it, discuss it, and elaborate on however I let her down. In a way, I know she's standing up for herself, and I respect that. But something about her communication style in these conversations makes me feel very much attacked. I remain shaken for hours, if not days, and I feel almost hated. Unfortunately, I'm still too invested in what others think of me, and this certainly contributes to my reaction.

Part of me feels slighted because last night, for example, I felt let down by her in three different ways. But it's not worth the stress of a confrontation about it to get whatever's bothering me off my chest. So why does she get off the hook for her shitty behavior and I have to suffer for mine? When her offenses were worse? Because she chooses to address her problem, and I choose not to address mine. It's not worth it. I'd rather not cause a rift. It doesn't seem necessary. Bottom line: we're different, and I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick.

I wish I could write her off, but I care about her a lot, work on multiple committees with her, and live with her. So.... that's pretty much out of the question. I suppose I need to work on NOT taking everything so personally, being more objective, and stop apologizing all the effing time. It would also help if she weren't so damn self-righteous. Blech. Feel free to advise. I'll take all the help I can get.

How can you not love David Beckam?

He's pretty, talented, ripped, hard working, has a great sense of humor, likes taking care of his family, and THIS is how he spends his spare time while traveling. Does it get any better?

I guess if he wanted to be my personal trainer or sit around and watch movies with me all day, that'd be ok, too.

Picture Digging

Although I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, I just came across these two beauts from my cousin's wedding last August. Here are Grandma and Grandpa having a grand old time on the dance floor, as they usually do.


And here's gramps with Joyce's hat on. I often forget how he likes to dress up.....

Exercise fiend, you say?

I am now officially one who exercises. I have done something never before attempted by, um, me. I joined a gym. And not only did I join, but I am meeting with a personal trainer for multiple sessions. My general goal is to stay motivated and stick with it. And, you know, eventually fit these calves into some knee-high boots. I heard once that after you build up your muscles, you can no longer shrink that part of your body. You can just keep it toned at its current size. Is this true? Am I destined to have chunky calves forever? Hopefully not.

Signing up was a bit of an ordeal. I argued with the manager selling me the membership package for about 90 minutes. He convinced me pretty quickly that he doesn't benefit differently depending on which package I buy, but he was pretty insistent on upgrading me so my long-term expenses would be minimal. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, so we had to compromise. Poor fella. Seemed pretty frustrated, in a really entertaining kind of way.

Regardless, I have since gone through one personal training session, and I'm optimistic. I have no appropriate gear for this, mind you. Just a couple of sports bras, a few concert tees, and some pajama pants. It's extremely tempting to drop into Clarendon's Lululemon store, given all the rave reviews, but I really haven't earned a $150 pair of workout pants yet. I guess I'll have to deal with Target or one of the discount sporting stores for the time being. Still, I think a reward system might be in order. Plus, I read somewhere that the Clarendon store has free yoga on Sunday evenings. Might have to check on that....

Physical fitness, here I come!