First day in LA

Wow. I'm here for a Rotaract conference, and my first day was ... surprising. First of all, Midwest is the best of the airlines. The seats are so big and comfortable - and they bake you chocolate chip cookies on the plane! They're all warm and gooey! Next, the super shuttle people put me in the wrong van, which resulted in it taking three hours to get me to the campus where I'm staying this weekend. I was CRANKY. The guy driving could have been really cranky about it, too, but instead he just bitched about immigration and then dropped me off without letting me pay. Nice!

So, still cranky Annie, I checked in, changed, and started walking to the convention center. Starving. Dehydrated. With a headache. I found a little, local cafe on the way and stopped in. "Do you have any lunch-type food?" The guy asked me if I liked spinach and cheese. Who doesn't? So he let me use his restroom, said, "Sit down, relax, I'll take care of you," and he did. Minutes later, I had a warm, spinach-cheese croissant, a couple of aleve, some water, some nice magazines to read, and a skim vanilla latte with a heart-shape made in the foam on top. Perfect way to turn around the day!

Well, after the travel delay, lunch, registration, and getting my bearings, I'd missed the entire first day's session. What would I do tonight? I knew one Rotarian there, and he pawned me off onto this nice college girl from Egypt. Mona. She's awesome. Just as we were on our way to seek a local restaurant and city map, she spotted two Spaniards who she'd met earlier in the day. "They have nothing to do. I know it!" So we tag along with Oscar and Alex for the evening. They're going to Hollywood.

We hop on the metro, after receiving instructions from the convention center staff, and promptly miss our stop. After we get back to the right transfer and get off at Hollywood and Highland, we peruse some of the stars on the sidewalk, and then walk about 20 minutes down to a filming set where Oscar has a Production Coordinator friend. Rosana gave us a tour of the Weeds set! So cool. We were the typical tourists, taking pictures with the various set pieces, pretending to look angry or thoughtful sitting in the director's chair, you can imagine. (Weeds spoiler: there's an underground tunnel to Tijuana and there's going to be some drive-by action. Geno's going to be so jealous!!)

Then Rosana sends us on a walk that takes FOREVER to this incredible Argentine restaurant. Amazing beef. So delicious. I think it's called LaLa's, or something like that. Oscar and Alex are cracking jokes the whole way - everyone speaks excellent English. Alex tells me about how he and his wife met through Rotaract, and Oscar tells me about the respective lists that he and his wife have - movie-stars-you're-allowed-to-sleep-with-and-not-get-in-trouble. Hers are George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and he can't remember who else. His are Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston.

We continue to have our pictures taken every 5 seconds at various entertaining locations, and cab back to where Oscar and Alex are staying - the University of Southern California campus. I insisted that instead of taking a cab back to my campus accomodations up the street, I'll walk. They tried to be all chivalrous, but I'm a tough, city girl, remember? I didn't realize it was ten city blocks..... or that I got to the wrong side of campus where there's no security guard to let me in. So I jumped the fence, muddied my black Donna Karen bag, and went inside to hit the sack.

But did I? No! I mingled. Made contacts. Got some Italy leads. I'm so relieved that this isn't the stuffy, boring, pointless, self-congratulating mess of a conference that I worried it would be! There are a lot of cool people here, and I'm excited to move forward with the Italy contacts, too.

BTW, I'm definitely moving. But that's a story for another post.....

Move to Italy

I've talked lots of big talk about moving to Italy one day. Sure, I should do it while I'm young and not tied down to a husband or kids. But what about a job? A visa? A car? Not being fluent? A phone? A place to live? Enough money to get started? Yep. Many reasons not to do it right now. And how long have I had to work on this? And I didn't do it.

Well my friend Kim is moving there this fall. She has family in Naples, who are apparently willing to put her up until she gets her bearings. She's signing up for a course this summer which will certify her to teach English as a Second Language (ESL). The program helps graduates with job placement.

And she asked me to come with her.

I've already stated all of the obvious reasons not to. I haven't been saving. Just paying bills, getting by, buying a new outfit now and then. Had I known...... and of course I just started a new job in February. Wouldn't THAT feel like a betrayal. Still, I don't owe my life to work. If this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (and it is), I can't turn it down over loyalty to an office or a profession that I'm not committed to for life. It would suck, but they don't own me.

I can't believe I'm considering this.

So Kim issued this proposition yesterday. My friend Becky gave me a calendar of famous women quotations - a new one every day. This is yesterday's:

"I have lived my life according to this principle: If I'm afraid of it, then I must do it."
-Erica Jong, scholarly sex novelist

While I'm no sex novelist (YET), that sure hit home.

I asked a good friend for her advice. She works with me, and takes seriously the responsibilities, even more than I do. I expected her to tell me about my responsibility here, all of the obstacles, the bad timing, etc. She said, "You have to do it."

I called Ohio and talked to Joyce last night. She rattled off all of the ways in which Italian bureaucracy makes every logistic imaginable next to impossible. Shared a Long list of how difficult and frustrating building a life there will be. Then she said, "If I were you, I'd do it."

I called Mom, who's totally overstressed with selling her house, buying a new one, moving in with her husband, taking care of Grandma who's fading fast with cancer, and generally being overwhelmed. She shared a few general suggestions, like making a pro/con list and making a list of everything there would be to do. Then she said, "You'll never do anything great if you don't take a risk."

Gah! I might actually do this. The pressure is on for lots of reasons. My friend is going this fall, so that's when the cushion of her family's help will be available. She's going to grad schools next fall, so she'll only be there a limited time. That's a big cushion to give up just to wait to get myself more financially stable. The course she's taking is this summer. It's $800 if you register by June 14. $900 after that. So many thoughts.....

I know that negative 14 people read this blog, but advice is welcome!

Clarence Carter

This morning, though sluggish (the usual), I managed to get up a little early and actually do my hair. So I come in, feelin' all cute. Then around 11 I head to the restroom to find that my fly had been open since I got dressed this morning. Nice.

Next, my allergies kick in. I forgot to take my Zurtec yesterday, so today I pay. A lot. Much fluid leaving the body. So I'm generally foggy, trying to make it through the day, feeling sorry for myself, etc., when all of a sudden, my ipod plays Strokin by Clarence Carter. The fact that I can listen to this song with ease in my private little office at work makes me smile. Big.

A few things

First, I'm so proud of my family. I went to my sister's art show last weekend, which she used as her graduation celebration. She snubbed the high school ceremony, in her fashion. The art show was satisfying. There were lots of people from what felt like, I guess, my past. Professors, previous neighbors, work study bosses, etc. Some left a bitter taste in my mouth, but overall it was very positive.

They're tearing down the building in which I took my theater classes. I staged scenes in its theater, learned how to design sets there, slept there, learned lines there. Lots of memories.

Nic is 13. He's the tallest of all of us. He's turning into a confident man. Sure, he's a teenager, so he's going to do a lot of stupid stuff, but he's becoming a purposeful, kind, considerate person. Wow. Every time I go home, I bond more with Dad and Joyce. It's truly fun and rewarding. I really enjoy talking to them like ... friends.

My grandparents were there. Dad's parents. They're aging in a very noticeable way, which makes me tear up now. They're both so ingrained in my life's story. I'm terribly frustrated that I can't go and live near them. I dislike being in that part of the country. It's depressing.

Once, while driving back to the house after helping Emily hang her show, I noticed a little brown furry something next to the 2-lane highway. It was kind of a lump, tucked under itself. Emily noticed that I noticed it and said, "Yeah, it's a teddy bear." I was relieved at first to know that it wasn't cuddly roadkill. But then, the thought of a little teddy bear that someone once valued, dirty, run over maybe, and lost at the side of the road. Sad, right? So I started feeling way too sorry for this little inanimate object, when Emily says, "Yep, little Teddy Roadkill." Cracks up Joyce and me, I'm assuming because we both remember Teddy Ruxpin. Remember that talking bear? There's no actual point to this story. I just enjoyed the moment so much that I wanted to be able to look back on it with accuracy.

Now I'm back in Virginia, though I'd rather be in Ohio. (Who thought I'd ever say that?) Said goodbye to Kurt today, and I won't see him for a couple of months at least. That's really weird and hasn't sunk in yet. But it undoubtedly sucks big time. He's going to visit family, which will probably be pretty swell.

And now my Negative Nancy of a passive aggressive roommate has reared her ugly head again. The long, dramatic sighs, the silent treatment. Yep, she's a peach. I really don't understand it. There are days, weeks, sometimes months when we're great to each other. Considerate, fun, good listeners, supportive, all that good stuff. But sometimes her moods make me so uncomfortable. And when that mood is directed at me.... I really don't handle it well. I go from thinking one day that she's one of my dearest friends in life. Someone to be in my wedding, etc. And somehow, mere hours later, I think that I no longer have the strength to remain her friend. Is this abnormal? It certainly feels that way. It definitely tires me.

But there are some easy, simple focus points that give good perspective. I have a job. Decent health. I can take a bubble bath whenever I want. I have health insurance. An incredible, loving, supportive family. And a handful of damn fine friends. Kurt and I fantasize sometimes about the friend-commune we'd create. Ok, commune probably isn't the best word, but we really wouldn't need anybody else. Outside of our family members and the folks who will run the great restaurants and concerts we go to, we've selected a stellar group of friends who should live near us. Namely, Scott and Sara, Ethan, Jaime, Ben and Karey, Shannon and Elena, and ..... I think that might be it. On the side, I have a few of my own that Kurt isn't as close with, but I'd want there as well. *sigh* If only.

This is the start of a new week. And there's no reason I can't start this week with a positive, healthy, optimistic agenda. I deserve it.