MY time

I'm going back to work tomorrow morning after being away for a full week. Coming back on a Wednesday. Earlier today, I was thinking about my coworkers (bosses, really), and other people who are counting on me to get stuff to them, and how it's already the middle of the week for them. That kind of thinking creates stress.

Then I took a bubble bath and listened to a Mason Jennings station on Pandora. The last song was Sing Out, a new favorite. (Or favourite, for all of my British readers.) It was so soothing that it tricked me into thinking it was a leisurely Sunday, as if I'd relaxed for a full weekend (hah!) and was starting a new week with everyone else.

After I snapped back to reality, I realized I was putting all of that stress on myself with this middle-of-the-week business. Who gives a shit? What does it matter if it's Sunday or Tuesday? It's MY day. Tomorrow is MY first day of the week, and I'll do with it what I damn well please. It's my time!

So then I got comfy and happy with my Mason music and post-bubble bath glow, and took in my entitlement to a relaxing late evening. It's mine.

In other news, the man in my life has been super unavailable as of late. This is due to multiple factors:

-his being sick

-me traveling lots

-his phone totally not working sometimes

-him not returning messages in a timely fashion

-him being kinda busy, too

Bottom line is, it feels like he's playing hard to get. I don't think this to be true, 'cause I don't think he'd do that. But pathetically, it makes me crave his attention. (When do I GROW UP?!) I think my last entry about him was pretty hostile, and we discussed it later like adults. He calmed me down. I'm still on the fence about the whole thing (read: him), but I like having a boyfriend. Since we haven't seen each other in 17 years, I'm giving it some more time to figure out what I want.

More news: I really, really like talking to my stepmom. A lot. We don't share all the details of our lives or anything (especially in a daily manner), but when we talk in person or on the phone, we have good, quality, substantial, interesting, thought-provoking, loving conversations. And it means a lot to me. And it makes me think that, if ever I get married, if I lived in a world where the day was truly all about me and other people's feelings didn't matter, she would stand up with me at my wedding. 'Cause she's on my team, and she knows what's important, and I love her.