Less guilt

I'm heading out shortly to go to a White Sox game, and really looking forward to it. My brother left the house in a hurry to get to his internship, smelling strongly of weed. He returned a couple minutes later, having missed the bus. He figured out that he could catch a different bus, if he hoofed it for 15 minutes or so to another area. He just called me to say, "I normally wouldn't ask you, because I know you're heading to the game, but I just missed the second bus. [Would you come pick me up and drive me to my internship?]"

Me: "Can't. I have to leave in 15 minutes to get to the game."

Him: "Ok."

Not a dramatic exchange, by any means, but let me tell you how I've progressed. First of all, it took me a long time to be able to say no. Second, after being able to say no, I would have felt guilt for days, picturing his puppy dog eyes, his disappointment in not having his shit together, adding to his low self esteem. If I wanted the best for him, shouldn't I help?

But I'm starting to put myself first a little more. Not a lot, but like this. And I'll tell ya, knowing that he'd have caught the first bus if he hadn't spent his morning smoking up takes a Lot of the guilt away.